What is happening around me?

For the first time in year 2011, im writting this updates.
Alot of things to be wrote..just as my collection. It s gud to be what i am now..but n still i dun get the real feeling in doing this. Sometimes i am tired to stand tough and be such a pretender ( i wont call it as a hypocrite)..I think im doing gud but act im not. Is it okay to have this kind of feeling?
..the longer u live, the more complicated it would be...
and now im searching for my real passion.eventhough ive noticed it already..but just to blame me..why cant i take a step to have a better life..im tired of blaming people, my college degree, blaming my career...and i shud tke a step ahead to move out from this zone..i guess.
now i shud stop complaining, regretting and being sad. Bcoz all those wont change anything+makes me so depress..From now on, I must do things bcoz of me..Allah i really need you n your guidance..
Nothing more to write..and I realized the person that shud be blame is myself n i still got tyme to make chnges..bfore its too late ..